Whats good about becoming a Senior anyways?

I've pondered this thought for the last few months I've been a senior and I've come up with only one brilliant Idea. The only thing that seems to be appealing about becoming a senior is knowing that you will not have to repeat another year of high school and that's about it. Everyone, mostly the underclassmen, seem to forget all of the responsibility and work, not to mention the image, you must attain. It's hard to be a senior. There is a lot of stress that comes with this new and shiny "title." College and teachers, and parents, and friends, and work, and this, and that and whatever else, seem to be more of a distraction than whats really important. So my question is what the hell is really important?

Don't let this question become simple, because it's harder to answer than it seems. First choice seems to always be grades, but we all know that's bullshit. Second choice is maintaining that image for college, but then most of the time, no one really cares about college until they see they wont be able to get into with their horrible grades. Third will always be your friends, but its hard to believe that when you seem to change friends through your 4 or 3 year stay at your school. The list can go on and on and get more and more ridiculous. Should your parents be a reason? no, they should, even if they say they should. So now, still, what is really important in school? I really have no conclusion on the subject. I've come to a semi-conclusion that what you do in high school reflects whats going to happen to you later in life, so, honestly, whats important to you in high school should mostly be whats important to you, in order to make yourself finish, but should that really be the motivation?

Senioritus is a bad thing in my opinion because all seniors get it. You get to the point when you just get tired of using the effort and eventually you slow down and give up. This, I believe, is a combination of school and the students. You cannot force a person to learn, youc an try and scare them, but you cannot force them to learn. People say school isn't meant to be fun, but isn't that what learning should be about? I mean most of the reason people hate math is because they find it dull and complicated, but if you had a teacher make it seem like playing halo, wouldn't more people gather to it like moths to a fly? Strict teachers shouldn't be necessary because if a line can be drawn and teachers can look to their students like people and vise-versa, with a little sprinkle of good teacher-student relations (the good kind lols), then people could enjoy shcool instead of dreading it. That in no way means less work should be given, but more ways that can be soaked in and remembered instead of forgotten when you leave the room.

School is not as fun as it used to be, as I grew up remembering it. The DCPS school administration needs to be fired and sued and destroyed with anti-tanks and magical elves. The way they've changed thigns is completely ridiculous. They turned school into a fucking sweatshop for learning. It feels like because they're adults they disregard the main point of what can help a kid learn by replacing it with what they assume kids need, therefore, creating utter stupidity because you have pissed parents, tired teachers, and cranky children. I think I've ranted enough for now, but seriously whats come of shcool isn't even something I'd want to send my own kids into. Honestly, if I could, I'd home school my children because I don't feel that sending them into this new mutative environment is worth it.

So whats good about becoming a senior? Well I think I've singled it out. Right now, the only good thing about becoming a senior is that your filled with hope that your finally out. Your suffering ends and you can finally get the hell away. As sad as it may sound, it's what seems to motivate kids to try harder their senior year, instead of jsut dropping out.

Yay screwed up school system! >.<

What I hate about being a teacher

Students sometimes ask me, "Ms. Wray, how do you read something that's really boring?"

Usually I pretend to be at an audition and I read out loud. That's what I am doing now (or was until I took a break to blog and drink some coffee) as I read through the tons of essays on Beowulf that I have to read.

It's not that each essay, when read by itself, is boring. It's only when one has to read 50 essays on the same topic expressing the same ideas that the process becomes brain numbing, and I have to resort to reading out loud in order to keep my focus.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to grade essays, but that's my job, isn't it? Granted it's the lamest part of the job, but an important responsibility nonetheless. After all, I can't let my wonderful students go on making the same errors in grammar, punctuation, logic and spelling forever! At some point, one needs to know how to spell the word, "basically". One needs to know that one can't use the first person when writing a literature essay. One needs to know writing for pages and pages on a topic isn't worth anything if what one is writing does not make sense.

I guess my frustration isn't really about critiquing essays. It's about the game that we play: students and teachers. The game is that I try to make students do as much work as possible (in order to learn the most) and students whittle that away to as little work as possible (and thus learn the least). I hate that. I hate force-feeding beautiful works of literature in the scowling faces of students who feel imprisoned. I hate having to give writing assignments because I know that it's the only way my students will read the piece I've given them. I hate that students always ask me for their "grade" meaning their current average, but hardly ever ask if they can discuss a point of interest or confusion about the latest reading.

I don't expect students to love English class for its own sake. I would worry for a student who didn't care at all about her grade. It's just disheartening to come into work each day and be surrounded by people who make a point of letting me know - either by not showing up, or leaving halfway through class, or not doing their homework, or not bringing their reading, or not bringing a notebook or a pen, or talking while I'm talking, or talking while their fellow students are talking or texting, for God's sake - that none of what I do is a priority for them.

I'll be leaving Duke at the end of second advisory. One student said that he'd like to throw me a party; a sweet gesture, but the last thing that I want. What I want is to see students taking their work in English seriously, not for the sake of my fragile ego (well, maybe a little) but for their own sakes. This is English literature, where one is supposed to learn how to write correctly, think analytically, to express and defend one's reasoned points-of-view. If we treat it like a joke, or a mere waste of time to be endured for an appropriate number on a report card, then when will we grasp these essential abilities? It's senior year. If not now, then when?

Me and My Kindle

I'm sick. 

No really.  I have bronchitis.  The thing about this sickness is that I feel almost fine when I'm lying in bed sipping tea and watching YouTube videos about The Canterbury Tales.  The moment I get up however, I feel dizzy, and I start to cough.  After awhile of moving around, I get all achy and blah blah blah.  Anyway! The point is I've been catching up on my Jon Stewart and I caught an interview which has sold me on my next read, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba and some other guy. 

The big question is whether I should download it to my Kindle, or buy a hard copy, which I can then release via Bookcrossing.  While it is fun to share books through bookcrossing, I think I have enough physical books to pass on at the moment.  I have boxes sitting in storage full of books, my bookshelves are crammed to overflowing, and I have an unsightly stack of books on the floor by my desk.  It's embarrassing, I admit.  I even bought more (used) books over the weekend, (before I got sick) and am slowly working my way through them as I recover.  Those used books will definitely be going on the bookcrossing shelf once I'm done with them. 

Another knock against the Kindle is the fact that the digital copies of books that I download to my Kindle are only readable on the Kindle.  It has been suggested that a more equitable exchange would be to have e-books made available that can be read on multiple devices in one standard format.  If that happens, my precious Kindle may go the way of Betamax and DiVX.  One could argue that I might stop investing (so to speak) in Kindle titles and buy low-tech printed books until this format thing gets settled.

But I figure, why buy a device and then get cheap when it comes to buying content for that device? Who owns a PS3 and only buys one game for it? Besides someone with a gamefly account, obviously.  I'm thinking, as much as I love books, how often do I get to reread them? Well, it depends on the book, obviously.   But the point is that most books that I read, I only get to read once, and then they live on a shelf or get sold on Amazon or passed on to a friend.  So, I'm not worrying about the Kindle thing.  If it becomes obsolete, I'll just rebuy the books in another format.  In the meantime, I'll continue to whip it out it bars and on the bus, and then happily explain its many features to whoever turns to me and asks, "Excuse me, is that one of those things, like a computer for books?"

Yes.  Yes, it is.

Book Crossing

So, as part of the rollout of the 'Duke Reads' blog, I also introduced some sections of English IV to bookcrossing.  Bookcrossing is this great site that allows people to register copies of books that they own, and then 'release' them into the world.  The idea is that someone picks up one of your registered books at a cafe or wherever you left it, sees the serial number and the web address, goes to the website, and logs in to say, "Hey! I found your book!" Then that person reads the book and releases it again, for someone else to find.

Some books have literally travelled around the world.  Right now, there are close to 6 million registered books. 

Of course, you don't have to 'release' a book by leaving it somewhere for a stranger to find.  You could just pass it on to a friend.  You can also register books that you don't plan to release, and just write about what a great book you think it is.

The web site has other features as well, including a page for authors, newsletters and right now a call for essay submissions from students and teachers.  I'll be submitting an essay on how bookcrossing is catching on at Duke.  My hope is that even if my work swamped students (and no, I am NOT being sarcastic) don't have much time for book swapping, maybe I'll be able to get some book swapping madness happening with the faculty and staff.  A little Pedagogy of the Oppressed, anyone?


~ Ms. Wray

Oh, Man! I've GOT that!

So, I'm reading this article on the New York Times online about a longitudinal study on anxiety.  It's one of those studies that, according to one developmental psychiatrist, "shows you irrefutably what you had an intuition about, something you thought was true but didn’t have evidence to support.”  In other words, it's a 'duh' study. 

"NEWS BREAK! Scientists have discovered that men tend to be attracted to women with large breasts!"

Duh.

"Flash! A UBC study finds people with foreign names face discrimination in the job market!"

Duh.

"This just in! A study finds that smoking marijuana can cause brain damage AND cancer!"

DUH!!!

Still, 'duh' studies fulfill an important role.  As the shrink implies, if you don't know something for a fact than you cannot assume it is true.  You can intuit all you want, but you cannot claim that you really know until the people in white coats with clipboards give you a thumbs-up.

Anyway, all of this is besides the point of the post.  The point is that all of the descriptions of anxiety remind me of how anxious I am on a daily basis! The fidgeting, the avoidance behavior... it's all me! Of course, we all have good reasons to be anxious these days, but what if I'm what the article calls a "born worrier"? Someone genetically hardwired to always freak out? Doesn't this query reveal a pathological anxious streak?

Nah.

Truth is, we all have a tendancy to believe that we suffer from symptoms once they are descibed to us, or so I assume.  I'm still waiting to hear from the white coats about that one.

To read about more silly research, check out the news from the ig Nobel awards.